Due to some events in my existence on the material world (some happy ones and some more stressful), my presence on SL and my contribution to this blog have been rather scarce and erratic those last months.
Situation should stay that way at least until the first months of 2011, but I'll try to post some essays here from time to time when inspiration hits me if find time to write down my thoughts...
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Is Second Life a Game ?
When I started Second Life, I believed like many that Second Life was a game, a kind of MMO Sandbox game with no goal...
What a fool I was !
Second Life is a wild new world, like America had been in the centuries following his discovery by Colombus, where people can start anew and even have demigod-like powers (teleportation, flight, instant communication, etc...).
A sort of new continent to live part of your life in, that is a dematerialized extension of the physical world.
You can use your access to this world to do many things, and among them play some of the many great games that have been developped by other users inside Second Life, but according to my experience, Second Life is definitely not a game.
If you don't see it, you don't capture the essence and potential of this fascinating new place.
A real society has grown there, where you can have real friendships/relationships, see real art, get real knowledge, listen to real musicians, even earn real money if you work very hard and have the rare luck to be gifted with a successful business in this extremely competitive place : Second Life is a real and thriving world.
People manipulate avatars inside Second Life, not fantasy characters like in a video game. What is an avatar ?
The word "avatar" comes from the sanskrit and was designating the earthly incarnations of the Hindu god Vishnu, his projections amongst humans.
Your avatar in Second Life is a pixelized projection of you, an in-world body that your brain control through your fingers, like he controls your flesh body in the physical world through your muscles.
Of course, you are free to spend all your time in Second life playing games, but similarily to what happens when you spend all your free time having fun on your game console in the material world instead of doing other things, you then miss your chance to really discover the wonderful people out there and to build yourself a great social life, burying yourself in entertaining but futile games...
Even worse, there is people who see life as a game, both in Second Life and in the physical realm : to them people are pawns to reach their selfish goals and they don't care about the damages they do.
We have a world for them : players.
Don't confuse players and roleplayers however. A responsable roleplayer is playing the part of his character only in the context of a consensually-shared fantasy story with other roleplayers, he is not roleplaying his life outside of it and is lucid enough to know when to get out of his character to be just himself.
There's a lot of sim devoted to roleplay in Second Life.
Being myself as an experienced table roleplayer, I can testify that I have seen a lot more of quality roleplay in them than in any of the numerous MMORPGs I have tried before where people are more focused on killing monsters to gain experience points than paying attention to staying in character, but that's not the subject of this post.
Players are the people who, outside of any roleplay context where everyone is aware that everyone else is playing a role, pretend to be what they are not, lie about themselves to the people they meet, make false promises to get what they want, fake emotions to manipulate you. To them, you are game...
It's wise to stay away from them and give preferently your time and attention to the other people who are real, honest and sincere.
Especially in the D/S context where emotions can run deep and honesty is key in the success of a long-term connection, players are to be avoided at all cost or you'll get hurt.
Life is not a game, Second life isn't either.
Period.
What a fool I was !
Second Life is a wild new world, like America had been in the centuries following his discovery by Colombus, where people can start anew and even have demigod-like powers (teleportation, flight, instant communication, etc...).
A sort of new continent to live part of your life in, that is a dematerialized extension of the physical world.
You can use your access to this world to do many things, and among them play some of the many great games that have been developped by other users inside Second Life, but according to my experience, Second Life is definitely not a game.
If you don't see it, you don't capture the essence and potential of this fascinating new place.
A real society has grown there, where you can have real friendships/relationships, see real art, get real knowledge, listen to real musicians, even earn real money if you work very hard and have the rare luck to be gifted with a successful business in this extremely competitive place : Second Life is a real and thriving world.
People manipulate avatars inside Second Life, not fantasy characters like in a video game. What is an avatar ?
The word "avatar" comes from the sanskrit and was designating the earthly incarnations of the Hindu god Vishnu, his projections amongst humans.
Your avatar in Second Life is a pixelized projection of you, an in-world body that your brain control through your fingers, like he controls your flesh body in the physical world through your muscles.
Of course, you are free to spend all your time in Second life playing games, but similarily to what happens when you spend all your free time having fun on your game console in the material world instead of doing other things, you then miss your chance to really discover the wonderful people out there and to build yourself a great social life, burying yourself in entertaining but futile games...
Even worse, there is people who see life as a game, both in Second Life and in the physical realm : to them people are pawns to reach their selfish goals and they don't care about the damages they do.
We have a world for them : players.
Don't confuse players and roleplayers however. A responsable roleplayer is playing the part of his character only in the context of a consensually-shared fantasy story with other roleplayers, he is not roleplaying his life outside of it and is lucid enough to know when to get out of his character to be just himself.
There's a lot of sim devoted to roleplay in Second Life.
Being myself as an experienced table roleplayer, I can testify that I have seen a lot more of quality roleplay in them than in any of the numerous MMORPGs I have tried before where people are more focused on killing monsters to gain experience points than paying attention to staying in character, but that's not the subject of this post.
Players are the people who, outside of any roleplay context where everyone is aware that everyone else is playing a role, pretend to be what they are not, lie about themselves to the people they meet, make false promises to get what they want, fake emotions to manipulate you. To them, you are game...
It's wise to stay away from them and give preferently your time and attention to the other people who are real, honest and sincere.
Especially in the D/S context where emotions can run deep and honesty is key in the success of a long-term connection, players are to be avoided at all cost or you'll get hurt.
Life is not a game, Second life isn't either.
Period.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Back in Blogosphere !
My apologies to the few readers of this blog, I was on holidays for part of May and too busy catching up on things after I came back from those holidays to write here.
It's calming down and I have some subjects in mind that I want to develop here soon, stay tuned !
It's calming down and I have some subjects in mind that I want to develop here soon, stay tuned !
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
SL Jobs and D/S Etiquette
A newly-made friend, who is an experienced RL submissive, complained to me about how she had been refused a job (in which she had already a quite serious practice and some talent, if I am to believe her) in a SL BDSM place for the only motive that she was a Sub and that only Doms could do that job there.
The only job she was offered instead was greeter, a job that mainly consist in staying kneeled all day long greeting Dom/me visitors adressing them as "Sir/Miss" ,and she felt undervalued... I'm sorry for her but I have a few thoughts on that I'd like to share here.
Name of the place and the person won't be disclosed in this post to avoid drama and personal attacks, I just want to take that situation as a case study about the difference between RL and SL.
First, I want to say that the owner of that place has totally the right to organize his business that way. As long you don't break the TOS and RL legal laws, you can set the rules you want on your sim and/or upon your staff, people who don't agree can simply leave...
It's quite like the protocols ruling the relationship between a Dom/me and his/her Subs, if you don't like what is asked to you, you can leave and go search for another Dom (in my view it's best to try to negociate first, but some Dom/mes have "My way or the Highway" protocols and systematically refuse to adjust them to you)
If , for marketing reasons for example, you only want Dom/mes in certain functions, you deprive yourself of potential talents (good staff is hard to find and keep) but you are free to do it and it's all benefits for places with more open recrutement policies who wil get those talented workers you don't want.
In RL, that would probably be considered like Discrimination on Sexual orientation basis, but SL jobs are not recognized yet as real jobs, even if you earn RL money from them once you have converted your Lindens in Dollars, and I don't think anything in the TOS applies either.
Anyway, it's not like that everywhere, and I know successful subs in all kind of jobs in the BDSM communauty of SL. In fact, the 3 D/S educational places of SL that I consider the best ones are even ALL owned and managed by Sub women !!
So, if you feel mistreated at your SL workplace because you are a sub, my advice would be to search around and find the places who will value you for what you are as a whole person and won't put you in a box just because you are a Sub... And if you are very picky and don't find one that suits you, build the place of your dreams !
Now let's talk about Kneeling and Titles...
The many Subs I know that have experience with the RL BDSM scene all tell me that in RL you usually only kneel before your own Dom/me (and some don't even ask it, not all Doms and Subs are into kneeling) and use titles like "Sir" or "Miss" only to address people who they know well already and respect the skill at Domming.
Also, kneeling too long is painful in RL and not good for blood circulation. Historically, kneeling is a position used to salute your liege (Knights kneeling to their Lord, Lords to their Kings, Priests to Gods, etc...), not a pose you are supposed to stay in all day...
That sends indeed wrong signals to people discovering D/S in SL and willing to move to RL someday. On the other hand, one of the interesting things of SL is that your avatar doesn't have the same physical limits than your RL material body, so if you wish to stay kneeled all day in SL, you can even if it is not realistic !
Both in RL and SL, when you are expected to perform kneeling and how you address other Dom/mes you meet are normally defined by the private protocol between the Dom and the Sub. But again, Sim Owners are free to enforce the local etiquette rules of their choice and you have only the choice to stay out or abide by them.
Personally, I must confess that I appreciate the small ego boost I get when I see subs I don't know calling me "Sir" and kneeling to salute me, even if I am aware that it is just a commercial marketing gesture to make me feel welcome as a potential client Dom of their sim.
Overall, I like a lot the formal courteous manner that many use to interact with others in the BDSM communauty of SL and I myself usually address more experienced Doms as "Sir/Lady" as a mark of respect...
I really don't mind when people I meet just call me "Renzo" rather than "Sir Renzo", titles are supposed to be earned in BDSM so I totally respect your right to call me that way until I convinced you that I deserve to be called "Sir" in your criterias.
That's just my two cents of an complex problem, any comments please ?
The only job she was offered instead was greeter, a job that mainly consist in staying kneeled all day long greeting Dom/me visitors adressing them as "Sir/Miss" ,and she felt undervalued... I'm sorry for her but I have a few thoughts on that I'd like to share here.
Name of the place and the person won't be disclosed in this post to avoid drama and personal attacks, I just want to take that situation as a case study about the difference between RL and SL.
First, I want to say that the owner of that place has totally the right to organize his business that way. As long you don't break the TOS and RL legal laws, you can set the rules you want on your sim and/or upon your staff, people who don't agree can simply leave...
It's quite like the protocols ruling the relationship between a Dom/me and his/her Subs, if you don't like what is asked to you, you can leave and go search for another Dom (in my view it's best to try to negociate first, but some Dom/mes have "My way or the Highway" protocols and systematically refuse to adjust them to you)
If , for marketing reasons for example, you only want Dom/mes in certain functions, you deprive yourself of potential talents (good staff is hard to find and keep) but you are free to do it and it's all benefits for places with more open recrutement policies who wil get those talented workers you don't want.
In RL, that would probably be considered like Discrimination on Sexual orientation basis, but SL jobs are not recognized yet as real jobs, even if you earn RL money from them once you have converted your Lindens in Dollars, and I don't think anything in the TOS applies either.
Anyway, it's not like that everywhere, and I know successful subs in all kind of jobs in the BDSM communauty of SL. In fact, the 3 D/S educational places of SL that I consider the best ones are even ALL owned and managed by Sub women !!
So, if you feel mistreated at your SL workplace because you are a sub, my advice would be to search around and find the places who will value you for what you are as a whole person and won't put you in a box just because you are a Sub... And if you are very picky and don't find one that suits you, build the place of your dreams !
Now let's talk about Kneeling and Titles...
The many Subs I know that have experience with the RL BDSM scene all tell me that in RL you usually only kneel before your own Dom/me (and some don't even ask it, not all Doms and Subs are into kneeling) and use titles like "Sir" or "Miss" only to address people who they know well already and respect the skill at Domming.
Also, kneeling too long is painful in RL and not good for blood circulation. Historically, kneeling is a position used to salute your liege (Knights kneeling to their Lord, Lords to their Kings, Priests to Gods, etc...), not a pose you are supposed to stay in all day...
That sends indeed wrong signals to people discovering D/S in SL and willing to move to RL someday. On the other hand, one of the interesting things of SL is that your avatar doesn't have the same physical limits than your RL material body, so if you wish to stay kneeled all day in SL, you can even if it is not realistic !
Both in RL and SL, when you are expected to perform kneeling and how you address other Dom/mes you meet are normally defined by the private protocol between the Dom and the Sub. But again, Sim Owners are free to enforce the local etiquette rules of their choice and you have only the choice to stay out or abide by them.
Personally, I must confess that I appreciate the small ego boost I get when I see subs I don't know calling me "Sir" and kneeling to salute me, even if I am aware that it is just a commercial marketing gesture to make me feel welcome as a potential client Dom of their sim.
Overall, I like a lot the formal courteous manner that many use to interact with others in the BDSM communauty of SL and I myself usually address more experienced Doms as "Sir/Lady" as a mark of respect...
I really don't mind when people I meet just call me "Renzo" rather than "Sir Renzo", titles are supposed to be earned in BDSM so I totally respect your right to call me that way until I convinced you that I deserve to be called "Sir" in your criterias.
That's just my two cents of an complex problem, any comments please ?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Blog comments
Hello all,
I've changed the blog settings so that everyone can lay comments on the post and not only registered users as it was initially set. So if you appreciate this blog, you have no more any excuses to not lay comments ! (just click the word "comment" in the blue text at the end of any post to lay a comment on it, it's easy !)
Comments will however still be monitored to keep out rude people and/or personal attacks, as I plan to publish soon some posts about more polemical subjects, that could stir agressive reactions from people disagreeing with my roaring free-minded opinions and getting their hackles up...
I've changed the blog settings so that everyone can lay comments on the post and not only registered users as it was initially set. So if you appreciate this blog, you have no more any excuses to not lay comments ! (just click the word "comment" in the blue text at the end of any post to lay a comment on it, it's easy !)
Comments will however still be monitored to keep out rude people and/or personal attacks, as I plan to publish soon some posts about more polemical subjects, that could stir agressive reactions from people disagreeing with my roaring free-minded opinions and getting their hackles up...
Saturday, May 1, 2010
BDSM Humour : Kinky Quotes
I just came across an hilarious post by Mitdasein on the Domination and Mastery website, it gave me a big laugh and really made my day so I wish to share it with you , dear readers of my brand-new blog :
http://dominationandmastery.wordpress.com/2010/02/02/kinky-wilde-isms/
I especially liked this one :
"Kinksters refuse to be constrained by the pointless rules and expectations of mundane society, preferring to be constrained by the pointless rules and expectations of other kinksters."
That one too (special dedicace to my friend Cat) :
"Masters spend the first part of training teaching you how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling you to sit down and shut up."
And last but not least that third one, sometimes true according to my personal experience :
"Submissives begin by resisting a Dom’s advances and end by blocking his retreat."
PS : Happy Beltane Day to you all, may your inner fire bring you purification and renewal !
http://dominationandmastery.wordpress.com/2010/02/02/kinky-wilde-isms/
I especially liked this one :
"Kinksters refuse to be constrained by the pointless rules and expectations of mundane society, preferring to be constrained by the pointless rules and expectations of other kinksters."
That one too (special dedicace to my friend Cat) :
"Masters spend the first part of training teaching you how to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling you to sit down and shut up."
And last but not least that third one, sometimes true according to my personal experience :
"Submissives begin by resisting a Dom’s advances and end by blocking his retreat."
PS : Happy Beltane Day to you all, may your inner fire bring you purification and renewal !
Friday, April 30, 2010
What the Hell is a Djinn ?
"Please allow me to introduce myself
I am a man of wealth and taste"
From The Rolling Stones "Sympathy for the Devil"
Don't believe the hype, I'm not the Devil in disguise even if a few people see me as "the Ennemy Within" of the community because I sometimes bring to the light some internal problems that they don't care about and that they would prefer to stay ignored by most...
I consider myself very wealthy of the gifts of submission I received over the years from the great subs and slaves who serve or served me on SL, and also of the number of quality Dom/mes and quality Subs who honor me of their friendship and the insights of their own experience.
I always felt that something was missing in my life, until I came across the SL BDSM scene in 2007 at Lady Genvieve Hutchence's now legendary Supreme Fetishist Club.
I started my journey in the art of Dominance among all the great people who were connecting there in the good old times and are doing it again now since we recently reopened it in association with the BDSM School of Submission (owned and brillantly managed by our long-time friend Angelica Pickles, who proves you everyday that you can be a submissive and run a sim successfully if you ever were biased to the point of doubting it) where I was already teaching each Tuesday with great pleasure !
Let's now answer the title question, after all that's the goal of this post, sorry for the long introduction but I am in wordy mood !
Djinns are spirits with magical powers in the oriental myths, like the one in Aladin's lamp. They are usually called "Genie" in english, "Djinn" or "Jinn" being the old oriental word for them that the mythology specialists use.
They are the masters of shapechanging and can take the form of any human, animal or vegetal. They can also become invisible at will and can control human minds if they wish so. They are born never good or evil and like humans are free to choose their side in the fight between Heaven and Hell.
I choosed to design my avatar around a "Djinn" metaphore as I see an strong analogy between that powerful creature and the kind of Dominant I aim to be for my subs, using my "Sensual Magic" (cf Patrick Califia's book) to fulfill their kinkiest secret wishes, guiding their mind with the power of my words, taking control of their actions when needed...
I see also a very interesting parallelism with the Djinn myths in the way a Cyber-Dominant sitting in front of his computer do handle his subs remotely though his avatar without any visual or physical contact between the RL individuals, like if he was an invisible spirit taking possession of their submissive souls...
Djinn having as I said before the power to take an animal form if they wish, I picked the one of a Tiger for my avatar body, as I have a strong affinity with all felines (I sometimes growl, meaow and purr in RL too, my RL partner even nicknamed me "The Man who speaks with Cats" because I exchange animal sounds with all the kitties I meet) and the Tiger is the feline species that in my view matches the most my roaring and unbending personality...
Final point, legends also said you can recognize Djinns by the strange and mysterious way they talk, so that gives me a lazy excuse for my bad habit of making complex lenghty sentences full of innuendos that are too often more confusing than clear !
I am a man of wealth and taste"
From The Rolling Stones "Sympathy for the Devil"
Don't believe the hype, I'm not the Devil in disguise even if a few people see me as "the Ennemy Within" of the community because I sometimes bring to the light some internal problems that they don't care about and that they would prefer to stay ignored by most...
I consider myself very wealthy of the gifts of submission I received over the years from the great subs and slaves who serve or served me on SL, and also of the number of quality Dom/mes and quality Subs who honor me of their friendship and the insights of their own experience.
I always felt that something was missing in my life, until I came across the SL BDSM scene in 2007 at Lady Genvieve Hutchence's now legendary Supreme Fetishist Club.
I started my journey in the art of Dominance among all the great people who were connecting there in the good old times and are doing it again now since we recently reopened it in association with the BDSM School of Submission (owned and brillantly managed by our long-time friend Angelica Pickles, who proves you everyday that you can be a submissive and run a sim successfully if you ever were biased to the point of doubting it) where I was already teaching each Tuesday with great pleasure !
Let's now answer the title question, after all that's the goal of this post, sorry for the long introduction but I am in wordy mood !
Djinns are spirits with magical powers in the oriental myths, like the one in Aladin's lamp. They are usually called "Genie" in english, "Djinn" or "Jinn" being the old oriental word for them that the mythology specialists use.
They are the masters of shapechanging and can take the form of any human, animal or vegetal. They can also become invisible at will and can control human minds if they wish so. They are born never good or evil and like humans are free to choose their side in the fight between Heaven and Hell.
I choosed to design my avatar around a "Djinn" metaphore as I see an strong analogy between that powerful creature and the kind of Dominant I aim to be for my subs, using my "Sensual Magic" (cf Patrick Califia's book) to fulfill their kinkiest secret wishes, guiding their mind with the power of my words, taking control of their actions when needed...
I see also a very interesting parallelism with the Djinn myths in the way a Cyber-Dominant sitting in front of his computer do handle his subs remotely though his avatar without any visual or physical contact between the RL individuals, like if he was an invisible spirit taking possession of their submissive souls...
Djinn having as I said before the power to take an animal form if they wish, I picked the one of a Tiger for my avatar body, as I have a strong affinity with all felines (I sometimes growl, meaow and purr in RL too, my RL partner even nicknamed me "The Man who speaks with Cats" because I exchange animal sounds with all the kitties I meet) and the Tiger is the feline species that in my view matches the most my roaring and unbending personality...
Final point, legends also said you can recognize Djinns by the strange and mysterious way they talk, so that gives me a lazy excuse for my bad habit of making complex lenghty sentences full of innuendos that are too often more confusing than clear !
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Welcome to the Lair of the Tiger-Djinn !
First, I need to thank my fellow teacher friend Forceme Silverspar for inspiring me this blog, as it is the enjoyement I took from reading and commenting her delicious own blog about her adventures in Second Life that stirred in me the need to have my own personal space of expression on the public place. I also want to thank my wonderful D/S family I cherish deeply and all the Dom/me and Sub friends I have in the BDSM communities of SL, I learnt a lot from them and keep on learning every day.
I enjoy writing and BDSM fascinates me, so I'm quite excited about making this blog, even should nobody read it... If by chance you do, I beg you by advance to forgive the spelling and grammatical mistakes, english is not my first langage and I often try to elaborate sentences too complex for my limited english level.
This blog is not about my personal SL life, as I don't like much to speak about me, but rather a channel to express publicly my opinions about things I see happening in the BDSM-relative parts of Second Life, and more importantly to also try to elaborate about my views on how Cyber-only Dominance and Submission can be made to work in it.
Cyber-only D/S is a whole new animal and an emerging concept still in the works, quite different in many ways from RL BDSM according to all the reports I get from people with experience in both worlds. My personal researchs while preparing classes at the BDSM School of Submission made me realize that there is quite a lack of useful information on the web about that way to practice BDSM and only justified warnings about the number of wannabee Cyber-Doms (who don't have a clue about what they do and just want to have kinky sex) that you may come across when you look for a Dom/me online, so I hope my small local efforts of analysis and conceptualisation will help open the way.
I am very open to the respectful exchange and confrontation of ideas so please feel free to comment my posts to share your points of view on the same subjects. What I write here is only what I think at the moment I write it, and I am abble to change my mind on things when confronted to evidences or rational reasonings proving me wrong, I'm myself a work in progress and try permanently to improve my understanding of things to become a better dom for my D/S family.
However to spare their time and energy for more constructive things, the ennemies that I made myself by denouncing publicly some unhealthy practices and bullying methods are warned from the start that I won't publish here any comment with rude langage, insulting insinuations, personal attacks or drama stuff, stay on your hate-speech websites if you plan to do that. Yes, audience, they are pathetic enough to make sites only to post that kind of things and this simple fact just shows us all how unworthy they are of our attention, if we needed any more proof...
I enjoy writing and BDSM fascinates me, so I'm quite excited about making this blog, even should nobody read it... If by chance you do, I beg you by advance to forgive the spelling and grammatical mistakes, english is not my first langage and I often try to elaborate sentences too complex for my limited english level.
This blog is not about my personal SL life, as I don't like much to speak about me, but rather a channel to express publicly my opinions about things I see happening in the BDSM-relative parts of Second Life, and more importantly to also try to elaborate about my views on how Cyber-only Dominance and Submission can be made to work in it.
Cyber-only D/S is a whole new animal and an emerging concept still in the works, quite different in many ways from RL BDSM according to all the reports I get from people with experience in both worlds. My personal researchs while preparing classes at the BDSM School of Submission made me realize that there is quite a lack of useful information on the web about that way to practice BDSM and only justified warnings about the number of wannabee Cyber-Doms (who don't have a clue about what they do and just want to have kinky sex) that you may come across when you look for a Dom/me online, so I hope my small local efforts of analysis and conceptualisation will help open the way.
I am very open to the respectful exchange and confrontation of ideas so please feel free to comment my posts to share your points of view on the same subjects. What I write here is only what I think at the moment I write it, and I am abble to change my mind on things when confronted to evidences or rational reasonings proving me wrong, I'm myself a work in progress and try permanently to improve my understanding of things to become a better dom for my D/S family.
However to spare their time and energy for more constructive things, the ennemies that I made myself by denouncing publicly some unhealthy practices and bullying methods are warned from the start that I won't publish here any comment with rude langage, insulting insinuations, personal attacks or drama stuff, stay on your hate-speech websites if you plan to do that. Yes, audience, they are pathetic enough to make sites only to post that kind of things and this simple fact just shows us all how unworthy they are of our attention, if we needed any more proof...
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